Doctor Jokes
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How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb really has to want to change.
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall.
"Big breaths," I instructed.
"Yes, they used to be," remorsed
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
What do you call 2 orthopedic doctors reading an EKG?
A double blind study!
What is the difference between God and an orthopedic surgeon
A God dosn’t think he is an orthopedic surgeon.
Did you hear about the latest birth control pill for men?
You take it the day after. It changes your blood type.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I broke my arm in two places!
Doctor: Stay out of them places!
After receiving his medication from the pharmacist, the customer asks, "are these time release pills?"
The pharmacist replies, "Yes. They begin to work after your check clears."
Did you hear about the baby born in the high tech delivery room?
It was cordless!
